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Total Drama: Notan Island
Ten totally not recruited teenagers are subjected to Chris McLean's maniacal game show for a chance at "ten times one million dollars" in this completely not satrical fic on Notan Island. Chapters Chapter One "The Really Generic Intro" The camera panned across the sky as large explosions began to explode. Chris McLean is then seen on a dock of a very gross summer camp, "Yo I'm Chris McLean!" he said adjusting his hair to be the exact way he wanted it to, then he looked back to the camera, "so I got bored of the same old cast and island and stuff so I decided to buy ANOTHER island for no reason! Welcome to Notan Island! It's Spanish for Really Super Wicked!" Chris said in an excited voice, "So I got ten new victi-- I mean contestants, sorry slipped, to tort-- I mean compete for a million dollars! But since this is Notan Island all the prize money is ten times more! That's right... one billion dollars! Let's meet them now. Hey look it's Sarah wow!" Sarah stepped off the boat, she was a tall, skinny, beautiful girl who was popular and talented. She had long blonde hair and sparkly blue eyes, she walked over to Chris, "Wow Chris it's really you! This place looks amazing!" She said, eyeing the completely terrible campsite that was very obviously thrown together by Chef at the last minute, "I love Total Drama so I am ready to compete!" "Yeah yeah whatever." Chris said sassily, yawning. "We have Total Drama fans all the time, what makes you so different?" "I loved Zoey so much and voted for her to win on the Cartoon Network website like fifty billion times because I related to her! Also, I'm pretty hot." Sarah said to Chris. "Right." Chris said. "Next up is Enrique!" Enrique walked off the boat rebelliously, and grabbed Chris' shirt and pulled out a giant knife, "I'm not here to make friends." Sarah looked at him, "Wow he's so hot!" She exclaimed loudly to herself. Chris and Enrique looked at her funnily. "What?" Sarah said. "Whatever." Enrique said as he walked and got suspisciously close to Sarah as the next boat arrived. "UGH I HATE THIS PLACE IT IS AWFUL OH MY GOD!" Gretchen yelled at Chris, who looked unfazed. "Gretchen. Great to have ya." Chris said sardonically. "Whatever I'm only here to win otherwise this sucks." Gretchen said walking towards the others. The others all muttered things like "I don't like her". Enrique turned to Sarah, "I don't like her." "Same." Sarah said. "What did you say?! I will vote you off this island FIRST!" Gretchen said angrily, then she turned and realized she left her luggage on the boat, she began running after the boat, screaming, "HEY COME BACK HERE YOU USELESS BOAT DRIVERS! MY SHOES!" She then fell into the lake around the island, causing Sarah and Enrique to laugh hysterically even though nothing particularly funny happened. Gretchen growled angrily at the two as the next boat came up. "Yo James! What's up?" Chris said, offering a high five. James returned the high five and cleared his throat, "Oh nothing much... nothing much AT ALL!" He said evilly, then he realized he sounded evil and corrected himself, "I mean, nothing sir." Chris looked at him oddly, "Hmm... whatever." Gretchen looked at him, and her jaw dropped. Sarah's eyes widened, and Enrique rolled his eyes. James then began modeling frantically on the dock, giving the camera several sexy angles to work with, arousing fans worldwide. Then the next boat came up, holding a black girl with short black hair and lots of luggage. "YO YO YO MONIQUE IS IN THE HIZZY OH SNAP HONEY." Monique said loudly. Causing Chris to roll his eyes. "Monique, great to see ya." Chris said, unimpressed. "Hey hunnies! Monique is here and ready to win!" Monique looked around at the four people there so far, Enrique rolls his eyes. "Alright whatever ghetto princess." Enrique retorts crossing him arms. "Oh SNAP YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT." Monique yelled dropping her luggage. "You gonna pay!" She charged at Enrique, suddenly, Sarah pops up inbetween them. "Don't damage his beautiful face!" Sarah cried out. James looked over attractively, "Did someone say... beautiful face?" He turned and positioned his chin to the optimal position allowing for maximum sex appeal, suddenly everyone stopped and stared. The next boat crashed directly into the dock, and a scawny, nerdy kid fell out of the boat and hit his face on the dock, "Ouchies! That fall was most certainly unfun." He walked over to Chris, happily, and stuck out his hand, "Salutations! My name is Har--" "Nerd." Enrique yelled. "Wha--" Harvey began. "Nerd." Sarah said rolling her eyes. "Bu--" Harvey began again. "Ugh shut up nerd." Monique said crossing her arms. "Sto--" Harvey began. "Nerd. Just stop talking." Chris interrupted. "But shouldn't I get a cha--" Harvey started. "No. No. Nerd." Chris said. "Okay." Harvey said sadly. He walked over to the end of the dock where Enrique shoved him into the water. "Har har har!!!" Enrique laughed. "Wow you're so darn cool!" Sarah marvelled at the unimpressive display of middle-school level bullying. Harvey gasped as he came out of the water, suddenly, the next boat zoomed in and hit Harvey, forcing him under the water again. "Hello, I am Marik. Captain of my school's lacrosse team!" Marik said, triumphantly. "Where are the puny nerds to beat up?" "Well the boat just ran over the one we have." Chris said nonchalantly. "I'm okay!" Harvey said from under the boat. "Nice." Marik said, chuckling. "Sup bro, and hey cutie." he said, talking to Enrique and Sarah. "Yo who are the spazzes over there." The camera panned to Gretchen and Monique yelling at each other. "YOU HAVE TERRIBLE FASHION TASTE!" Gretchen yelled. "YEAH WELL AT LEAST I REMEMBER MAH LUGGAGE!" Monique sassed. "OH THAT'S IT." Gretchen said, pulling Monique's hair, or at least what hair she had. "Ladies, please, let us not fight. Let us look at my sexy body." James said, moving his eyebrows in a sexual manner. The next boat then sped up, and out walked a very fashionably dressed girl with bleached blonde hair, she walked out, "Heyyyy Chip!" "Chip?" Chris said, question her, "It's Chris, CeCe." "Oh... Hi Chris CeCe!" CeCe said, waving happily. Chris sighed loudly. Cece then walked over to the others. "Wow, your fashion choices are like... bad." CeCe said, looking at Gretchen, "but don't worry I can help you!" She said excitedly. "I do NOT need your help, thank you very much!" Gretchen said, walking away from CeCe, who just followed. "But anyone can use a little make-up and jewelry!" Cece said preppily. Gretchen slapped her and walked away. "Rude rude rude!" Cece said, rubbing her cheek. Then the next boat arrived in a very unoriginal fashion and a similar girl to Sarah walked out, in fact, almost too similar. "Hello! My name is Yasmine Yessica Kelley Jamison Ricardo El Salvador, pleasure to meet you!" Yasmine said, sticking out her hand. "We're just gonna call you Yasmine..." Chris said, bored of the whole thing. "Okay! I am just fine with that!" Yasmine said happily. "Yo you're a babe!" Marik said, looking directly at her tits. Yasmine giggled at the jock, "Thanks. I think..." The final boat pulled up and out walked a skinny Indian kid who bared a striking resemblance to a former contestant walked out, "Oh wow is this where we're staying. What a dump. Mhm." He said, waving his hands around. "Yes, yes it is. Heheh." Chris said, laughing slightly. "Wow you look terrible." Mikeal said to Gretchen, in a ridiculously deadpan voice, with a slight lisp to it. "Who the hell are you calling terrible you little runt?" Gretchen retorted. "Wow how could you say that?" Enrique said, "That's just rude." "So rude." Sarah said. "Oh come on! You pushed someone into a boat!" Gretchen said, facepalming. "He was a nerd." Enrique said, with the coolest voice known to man. "Alright campers, this way!" Chris said, leading the ten to the elimination site. "Here is where you guys will boot someone every day!" "Exciting!" Harvey exclaimed. Everyone looked at him menacingly. "That's about it, you're not free to do what you want. You could do pretty much everything and it's all legal!" Chris exclaimed looking directly at the camera. "Sweet." Enrique said, looking around. "Let's burn stuff." "Why are we here for only like, nine days?" Yazmine asked Chris. "Kid this place rents by the hour and I'm not made of money." Chris said. "Anyhow, we now have our ten contestants, who will win, who will lose, and how many budget cuts will end up happening to make sure the production crew isn't the one booted off the island? Find out next time on Total Drama: Notan Island!" "Incredible!" Harvey said. "Shut up, nerd." Everyone said in unison, even Sarah, because even though she's a nice person, she hates nerds. Elimination Table